It took a long time and a year of ultimate freedom before Rillo Schwartz was ready to throw herself into a third pregnancy. We meet Rillo in the very last waiting period for a talk about having to split into three, about keeping a cool head and high spirits and about remembering to give yourself a solid pat on the back every day
How did you find out you were pregnant?
“We had a fun New Year's Eve and had a huge party at our house, as we do every year. I had gone to bed at 7 in the morning, but it was as if the fatigue just wouldn't ease. Four days later, I was still tired and walking around Netto with a friend on the phone. I just registered a pregnancy test up at the till and put it on the tape without thinking about it.
Lukas has wanted another child for a long time, and I have kept putting it off. There has always been a good friend's wedding or a summer that had to be included in the book. I've always admired, and perhaps also envied, the women who become mega-scruffy. I don't think I've ever felt crooked like that. Our lives are also pieced together in such a way that much of the day-to-day falls to me. We both know that Lukas is not going to cut back on his career or the way the show works. So whether we have one child or two or soon three children, he will still travel at least a third of the year. This means that I have to be able to divide myself into three pieces, and I needed time to get ready for that.
It had to happen a bit by chance. I asked Lukas in December if we should have a baby, and on January 4th I found out I was pregnant. So I got pregnant on the first try.
I have always thought that I would like to have many children. I'm an only child myself, and in the past I might have thought we were going to have five! But then you have children yourself and become wiser about what it requires. It is not because Lukas is never at home, but it is important that I feel that I have the mental strength to be able to take care of three children by myself. As a starting point, I assume that I am alone and then it is just great when there are two of us.”
What makes everyday life slide when it all feels a bit chaotic?
"I bought into that premise a long time ago, and I also like that we don't live a classic 9-17 everyday life. I have made a choice to be positive and constantly remind myself to make that choice. That doesn't mean it can't also be really hard, and I sometimes wish it were different. But you just have to look at things as positively as possible and be grateful for what you have. The math doesn't add up anyway. I'm the one who takes care of 9 out of 10 bouts of vomiting, and I can't go and be bitter about that. In return, I have the time with them. We both do the best we can.
